This date was set up as though we were going to be hanging out in a big group, but ended up just being the two of us. He was cute and saw this as a wonderful opportunity. We went to the new James Bond movie at the time and later went to play pool. I was never good at playing pool and he wanted to play that the loser bought dessert. I didn’t have any money in my purse and so I knew that I needed to win. I got a few good shots and was doing better than expected; he was doing just as well though. He had gotten down to one ball and the eight ball left; I had a few more than that on the table. This was a time for desperate measures. I had heard once that the most tender spot on the body was right behind the ear; I figured I would test this out. As he was getting his shot all set up I slowly walked behind him and blew ever so gently on the back of his neck and up to his ear. I have never seen anyone drop to their knees that fast; I guess it really is the most tender spot on the body. I ended up winning because he knocked in the eight ball, and I cleaned up.
I must have left a lasting impression, because he invited me to come and play football with him and his friends (or it was pay back?). Now note that it was WINTER time and we were playing football; I showed up all buddle up, and he looked surprised. After playing for awhile, and no one could feel their fingers and toes, we finally called it a day. On the way out he walked me to my car and mentioned how I looked different then the night before. I asked “how so?”
“Well I remember you looking nicer.”
“Because I did, today I came prepared to get dirty.”
Touching my beanie on my head he looked at me and said, “In all honesty, you look like a hobo today.” I’m pretty sure one of my ‘are you kidding me glances’ came out at that point, because he continued,
“I just was telling all my buddies how pretty you were and I was excited to show you off and then you came like this.”
To which I just said, “I’m sorry that I embarrassed you, but what were you hoping I would come dressed like when we’re playing football in the snow?”
He tried really hard after that to get his foot out of his mouth and I wasn’t helping him at all. Finally he just ripped the hat off my head and said,
“I’m sorry Linz but you just do not look good in hats, they make you look like a homeless person.”
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Great Sniffer!
Over time going on unusual blind dates does wear on a person, and I found myself wanting to just have something “normal” for a change. Boy meets girl, boy thinks girl is cute and boy asks girl out. How difficult can that be? I’m sure I must have mentioned this a time or two to my friends, because they would all say the same thing when lining me up again, “I know you hate blind dates, but…” I soon learned that you can’t pick what life gives you; all you can do is enjoy the ride.
This date wasn’t really a date per say; more of a gathering were two people could meet. A friend of mine thought she had found a man that would be the perfect match for me: funny, smart and good-looking (as all of these men were). She planned a movie night at her apartment where I could come meet him and if this was a good match take it from there. What a genius idea; previewing your blind date. Little did I know that not only was he informed about this little set up too, but everyone invited to the party as well. It was a date. After getting introduced ten times and everyone moving so that we could sit by one another, we both got the hint. We began to talk and discovered that he sat right behind me in one of my classes (I transferred out of it week into the semester though) but he remembered me and said that I smelled good. He was actually pretty good-looking and my heart jumped a little bit to think that he thought I was worth remembering. However, this is my life and of course he continued that sentence,
“…but tonight you smell different.”
“Different, is that a good or a bad thing?”
“It’s not b..a..d.”
“But it’s not good.”
“I don’t know what it is but you smell like something I have smelt before. Give me a minute I’ll figure it out.”
Being slightly bothered at this point, I thought I should do my own assessment. I slowly began smelling different locations on my body; only to discover that maybe my deodorant was beginning to wear off from all this stress. He leaned over and said,
“I’ve got it you smell like cat food.”
“Cat food?”
“Yes”
“Why, I don’t have cats and am allergic to them.”
“Weird, I wonder why.”
The movie finished and nothing more was said about it. I made my way for the door looking for my friend to thank her but she was nowhere to be seen; I said my good-byes and headed for my car.
Once I was home I noticed that I had a text message on my phone; I had forgotten that my phone was still on silent from the movie. I opened the message to find that it was the Great Sniffer himself. He apologized for acting so weird and explained how he sometimes gets obsessed with figuring things out; then came the best part. “I think I know why you smelled like cat food…what time of the month is it for you?”
After picking my jaw off the ground I pushed reply and typed, I don’t know who you are but, I am Tiffany and my husband will be ticked if you text me again.
Can you believe that? Who says that? I really was questioning his intelligence at that point.
I ran into him a few weeks later and he was surprised that I would pretend that he had the wrong number. I reminded him how he told me I smelled like cat food, and asked about my period.
This date wasn’t really a date per say; more of a gathering were two people could meet. A friend of mine thought she had found a man that would be the perfect match for me: funny, smart and good-looking (as all of these men were). She planned a movie night at her apartment where I could come meet him and if this was a good match take it from there. What a genius idea; previewing your blind date. Little did I know that not only was he informed about this little set up too, but everyone invited to the party as well. It was a date. After getting introduced ten times and everyone moving so that we could sit by one another, we both got the hint. We began to talk and discovered that he sat right behind me in one of my classes (I transferred out of it week into the semester though) but he remembered me and said that I smelled good. He was actually pretty good-looking and my heart jumped a little bit to think that he thought I was worth remembering. However, this is my life and of course he continued that sentence,
“…but tonight you smell different.”
“Different, is that a good or a bad thing?”
“It’s not b..a..d.”
“But it’s not good.”
“I don’t know what it is but you smell like something I have smelt before. Give me a minute I’ll figure it out.”
Being slightly bothered at this point, I thought I should do my own assessment. I slowly began smelling different locations on my body; only to discover that maybe my deodorant was beginning to wear off from all this stress. He leaned over and said,
“I’ve got it you smell like cat food.”
“Cat food?”
“Yes”
“Why, I don’t have cats and am allergic to them.”
“Weird, I wonder why.”
The movie finished and nothing more was said about it. I made my way for the door looking for my friend to thank her but she was nowhere to be seen; I said my good-byes and headed for my car.
Once I was home I noticed that I had a text message on my phone; I had forgotten that my phone was still on silent from the movie. I opened the message to find that it was the Great Sniffer himself. He apologized for acting so weird and explained how he sometimes gets obsessed with figuring things out; then came the best part. “I think I know why you smelled like cat food…what time of the month is it for you?”
After picking my jaw off the ground I pushed reply and typed, I don’t know who you are but, I am Tiffany and my husband will be ticked if you text me again.
Can you believe that? Who says that? I really was questioning his intelligence at that point.
I ran into him a few weeks later and he was surprised that I would pretend that he had the wrong number. I reminded him how he told me I smelled like cat food, and asked about my period.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
This could be Eternal
Movies tell us that weddings are the best places to find someone, but I think there needs to be a disclaimer; just like with new medications: this could lead to intense dating, proposal or marriage.
He was one of the sweetest guys I have known and I got the opportunity to drive him to and from a wedding we both attended. He spoke a maximum of 10 words on our way there, which mostly came from my continual questioning. He must have figured I would put him through this again on the way back if he didn’t initiate the conversation. We actually spoke the whole 4 hours back to the university. I dropped him off at his apartment and didn’t think much about things. Later that week I ran into him, we talked on my way to class and he was there when I got out of class, so we talked some more. He asked me to go to a dance with him that the university was having; it was a lot of fun, but I could tell from that date how different we were and that he needed someone a little more on the softer side; but we could and would be the best of friends. A day or so later I was in the library and saw him out of the corner of my eye, coming towards me. “How did he find me?” I kept thinking. He came over and told me that I needed a break from studying and he was prepared to help me with that task. He kindly asked to take my books, but I had a major test coming up and I didn’t think that would be the best idea. He finally grabbed my books and made a break for it; with me running behind trying to get them back. We threw them in a locker and said, “Now you’ll just have to come with me.” He head towards the park near by, with me fuming behind him. As we got there I noticed that there was a blanket and a pinic basket; yes we had a picnic! It was actually pretty nice to have a break, get some fresh air, but after a few hours, I knew that I needed to get back to my books. He agreed this time and released my books to me, well to himself to carry for me. We headed to my apartment; he began asking all kinds of questions about me, including my middle name. After reaching the third floor where I lived, he began the normal dialog, “I had a really great time today, thank you for coming.” I gave him a hug to thank him but when I let go, he didn’t I thought and said out loud “Oh, no!” He must have not heard me because he just continued on.
“Lindsee, there is something about you that makes me want to be better…Lindsee Leah Anderson I love you and think we need to plan our lives together.”
Being in shock I said NO and that I needed to go. He begged me to know what was wrong, I quickly replied,
“You don’t even know me.”
“That’s what we’ll spend our lives doing,” he said.
“But, to really make steps forward like the one your thinking requires some simple facts.”
“I already know the ones that matter, and that is that I love you.”
“Okay, you know what... if you can answer some simple questions then I’ll think about it. What is my dad’s name?”
“Jeff.”
“No, it’s Clay. What is my favorite color?”
“Pink.”
“Are you kidding me? Red”
“But pink is a hew of red”
“Alright easiest question, what is my favorite food?
“Salad!”
“What? it’s mashed potatoes!”
“See, you don’t know anything about me, and you only learned my middle name a few seconds ago. You are so sweet but we are too different I’m loud and you’re not, I would eat you alive.”
He looked at me as though I had ripped his heart out and done a Mexican dance on it, which in honesty I had; however, he smiled and walked away like a gentleman.
And if I remember correctly he was married shortly after that!
He was one of the sweetest guys I have known and I got the opportunity to drive him to and from a wedding we both attended. He spoke a maximum of 10 words on our way there, which mostly came from my continual questioning. He must have figured I would put him through this again on the way back if he didn’t initiate the conversation. We actually spoke the whole 4 hours back to the university. I dropped him off at his apartment and didn’t think much about things. Later that week I ran into him, we talked on my way to class and he was there when I got out of class, so we talked some more. He asked me to go to a dance with him that the university was having; it was a lot of fun, but I could tell from that date how different we were and that he needed someone a little more on the softer side; but we could and would be the best of friends. A day or so later I was in the library and saw him out of the corner of my eye, coming towards me. “How did he find me?” I kept thinking. He came over and told me that I needed a break from studying and he was prepared to help me with that task. He kindly asked to take my books, but I had a major test coming up and I didn’t think that would be the best idea. He finally grabbed my books and made a break for it; with me running behind trying to get them back. We threw them in a locker and said, “Now you’ll just have to come with me.” He head towards the park near by, with me fuming behind him. As we got there I noticed that there was a blanket and a pinic basket; yes we had a picnic! It was actually pretty nice to have a break, get some fresh air, but after a few hours, I knew that I needed to get back to my books. He agreed this time and released my books to me, well to himself to carry for me. We headed to my apartment; he began asking all kinds of questions about me, including my middle name. After reaching the third floor where I lived, he began the normal dialog, “I had a really great time today, thank you for coming.” I gave him a hug to thank him but when I let go, he didn’t I thought and said out loud “Oh, no!” He must have not heard me because he just continued on.
“Lindsee, there is something about you that makes me want to be better…Lindsee Leah Anderson I love you and think we need to plan our lives together.”
Being in shock I said NO and that I needed to go. He begged me to know what was wrong, I quickly replied,
“You don’t even know me.”
“That’s what we’ll spend our lives doing,” he said.
“But, to really make steps forward like the one your thinking requires some simple facts.”
“I already know the ones that matter, and that is that I love you.”
“Okay, you know what... if you can answer some simple questions then I’ll think about it. What is my dad’s name?”
“Jeff.”
“No, it’s Clay. What is my favorite color?”
“Pink.”
“Are you kidding me? Red”
“But pink is a hew of red”
“Alright easiest question, what is my favorite food?
“Salad!”
“What? it’s mashed potatoes!”
“See, you don’t know anything about me, and you only learned my middle name a few seconds ago. You are so sweet but we are too different I’m loud and you’re not, I would eat you alive.”
He looked at me as though I had ripped his heart out and done a Mexican dance on it, which in honesty I had; however, he smiled and walked away like a gentleman.
And if I remember correctly he was married shortly after that!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
All's fair in love and war...right?!
I have to say that if it wasn’t for the fact that we would kill each other, one of my guy friends and I would be the best fit. He kindly took me to a school dance after a mess of a break up and I have to say it was a lot of fun. We had gone sledding and towards the end of the day we had become competitive and wanted to race each other to the bottom (typical me). I had the lead and was prepared to make my victory speech when I felt a tug on the back of me sled. My date had a hold of it and was trying to push me off the hill or slow me down; one of the two. Because of this little sprawl we were having, we didn’t notice the wall of snow in front of us. Lucky for him he saw it in time to turn out of the way; I on the other hand saw and felt it at the same time. I didn’t know snow was so painful! I woke up to my date standing over me say, "are you okay?" Once my head was no longer in a fog, he kindly explained how the "snow bank" I hit was a brick wall with a light covering of snow.
My date was impressed that I was able to walk at all the rest of the night and carried pain medication in his pocket for me the rest of our date. My poor head, and what is sad is that this would not be the last time I would have a concussion on a date.
Our next date I got even though; he made the plan to go to the lake. I think he figured that the liquid form would be safer for the both of us, but once again we proved that we are safe together. We were out on these twin size mattresses, playing king of the mountain, I was winning at the time when he got the idea to make a go at it. He jumped up in a frontal assault and I went to kick him off, but I hit him dead on, we were done after that. Poor guy!
My date was impressed that I was able to walk at all the rest of the night and carried pain medication in his pocket for me the rest of our date. My poor head, and what is sad is that this would not be the last time I would have a concussion on a date.
Our next date I got even though; he made the plan to go to the lake. I think he figured that the liquid form would be safer for the both of us, but once again we proved that we are safe together. We were out on these twin size mattresses, playing king of the mountain, I was winning at the time when he got the idea to make a go at it. He jumped up in a frontal assault and I went to kick him off, but I hit him dead on, we were done after that. Poor guy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)