The Great Sniffer!

Over time going on unusual blind dates does wear on a person, and I found myself wanting to just have something “normal” for a change. Boy meets girl, boy thinks girl is cute and boy asks girl out. How difficult can that be? I’m sure I must have mentioned this a time or two to my friends, because they would all say the same thing when lining me up again, “I know you hate blind dates, but…” I soon learned that you can’t pick what life gives you; all you can do is enjoy the ride.

This date wasn’t really a date per say; more of a gathering were two people could meet. A friend of mine thought she had found a man that would be the perfect match for me: funny, smart and good-looking (as all of these men were). She planned a movie night at her apartment where I could come meet him and if this was a good match take it from there. What a genius idea; previewing your blind date. Little did I know that not only was he informed about this little set up too, but everyone invited to the party as well. It was a date. After getting introduced ten times and everyone moving so that we could sit by one another, we both got the hint. We began to talk and discovered that he sat right behind me in one of my classes (I transferred out of it week into the semester though) but he remembered me and said that I smelled good. He was actually pretty good-looking and my heart jumped a little bit to think that he thought I was worth remembering. However, this is my life and of course he continued that sentence,
“…but tonight you smell different.”
“Different, is that a good or a bad thing?”
“It’s not b..a..d.”
“But it’s not good.”
“I don’t know what it is but you smell like something I have smelt before. Give me a minute I’ll figure it out.”

Being slightly bothered at this point, I thought I should do my own assessment. I slowly began smelling different locations on my body; only to discover that maybe my deodorant was beginning to wear off from all this stress. He leaned over and said,
“I’ve got it you smell like cat food.”
“Cat food?”
“Yes”
“Why, I don’t have cats and am allergic to them.”
“Weird, I wonder why.”

The movie finished and nothing more was said about it. I made my way for the door looking for my friend to thank her but she was nowhere to be seen; I said my good-byes and headed for my car.

Once I was home I noticed that I had a text message on my phone; I had forgotten that my phone was still on silent from the movie. I opened the message to find that it was the Great Sniffer himself. He apologized for acting so weird and explained how he sometimes gets obsessed with figuring things out; then came the best part. “I think I know why you smelled like cat food…what time of the month is it for you?”
After picking my jaw off the ground I pushed reply and typed, I don’t know who you are but, I am Tiffany and my husband will be ticked if you text me again.
Can you believe that? Who says that? I really was questioning his intelligence at that point.

I ran into him a few weeks later and he was surprised that I would pretend that he had the wrong number. I reminded him how he told me I smelled like cat food, and asked about my period.