So Close

I went out on a date with a really cute guy and after dinner we ended up going back to catch the end of the basketball game. Once the game ended we began watching another TV show and progressively got closer. By the start of the next episode I notice he had turned toward me; yes this was the moment. I took a deep breath and turned, going 10. He like-wise leaned in,(my heart began to race) as he went 80 and STOPPED...yes we are inches maybe centimeters away and he stops. Not sure what to do and afraid that if I move I'll do something wrong, I held strong. ************************************* Well the episode ended and either of us have moved. At that point (after almost a half an hour) I turned back to the TV and said "Oh I guess it ended. I better get going."

My words were so true that night. It did end and I moved on, however I often wonder what happened there? Did he expect me to come more? Put lip stick on? Maybe pop a breath mint? So many questions that will never be answered!

Me?

I know some people may think that I want to just bash on my dates...not at all! Do I think they are funny? YES and I think everyone should have a good laugh. I love dating and to show you that my date is not the only one to blame here are some of the things I HAVE DONE on a date:

* I once threw up all over my date...I mean all over!
* I attacked (kicked and screamed)at my date in a haunted house
* Oh I did it again, I should stay away from haunted houses on a date
--and the guys were good looking, they didn't want to go out again. That was my bad!
* I have hit more dates then kissed them
* I have talked myself out of dating someone...for reasons I still don't know

Yes, we all do stupid things when it comes to dating, this is a time and place to laugh about it!

I'm better with food...

Most of my conversations are based around one topic and one topic only...so I've had a lot of time to think about this; dating is much like eating. I would like to share what I think and get your input on the subject.

1. You notice/hear about a restaurant that you would like to try. --Meeting
2. You go inside and sit down. --First and even second date. You are doing a quick assessment of the place and feel that you are not in any immediate danger...so you proceed to ordering appetizers.
3. Moving on to soup or salad. --Third date, this is normally where you get more substance and realize that main course could be amazing.
4. Main dish. --This could be several dates..."this is DATING" getting to the meat of the person.
5. Dessert. --The sweet part; this is when you better understand the person and love them.
6. Return again and again...BINGO you have a favorite restaurant!

I know that may seem silly or very me but that is the best way I knew how to describe it...dating is something to be enjoyed and as they say in Europe experienced. I feel that we have become so worried and concerned about dating that we have stressed ourselves out...okay so maybe you all are just stressing me out. If you ask someone out you are not making an eternal commitment. (*deep breath) So let's all relax and take it one step at a time.

Research Shows

My dating scene had become so ridiculous that everyone in our complex knew all about it. One of the girls was studying human behaviors and decided to do her final project on dating behaviors, and yes you guessed it, I was selected to go on a blind date that she would be filming. My date was also selected at random and we had to keep a journal of our thoughts and feelings throughout the whole experience. I remember getting the phone call from my date informing me that I needed to bring untraditional eating utensils (cereal box for a plate, a shot-glass as a cup, potato-masher for a fork, ect.) I went through my apartment looking for the most unusual things I owned. When he arrived I could tell that this was going to be one heck of a date. When he opened the door to the apartment we would be eating at, I saw a nicely set dinner table, and became confused why I needed to bring my own dishes. Almost reading my mind my date smiled and said,
“That’s not for us.”

He then walked over to another table that had nothing on it and said, “This is for us!” I thought to myself, okay this is more like my dates. He opened the bag he had in his hand and began setting up my place-setting and I figured that the utensils I brought must have been for him; so I proceeded to place them in front of him. Our dinner soon followed: spaghetti and meatballs. As it was gently laid on my plastic sack (my plate) and lemonade was poured into my tin soup cup, I picked up my wooden spoon that was the size of my head and tried to eat it. The long and short of it was my food landed everywhere but my mouth. I don’t think I have laughed that hard though as when I looked over and saw him trying to eat with a wire-whisk. Once we cleaned up from dinner we were interviewed about what we thought of the date. Then we returned to play a game with the other couples; a good bonding moment. We were each given a bowl of apples and an empty bowl to place behind us. Our goal was to get as many of the apples from one bowl to another by having one person place an apple under their chin and the other person without hands picking it up with their chin (awkward moments are bound to happen). I’m proud to say we got the most apples passed and have a very nice picture where it looks like we are necking. We were interview once more and then we headed for home. We showed up at my front porch and both started laughing, he said he would give me a call and we could go on a real date sometime.

A day later, the girl who was putting this whole project together had to report on her findings and asked all of us to come and explain what we thought. I remember us being in a pretty good size classroom and almost being seated like a panel. We were asked why we thought this date did or did not work. My date started by saying that our date went well because I had a good sense of humor and that I was confident in who I was; right then my phone begins ringing (my roommate had been messing with my phone and changed the ring tone) “Don’t you wish you’re girlfriend was hot like me” at the highest volume possible. Without skipping a beat my date says, “Like I said Lindsee doesn’t lack in self confidence.”

Cougar Town

I would like to make this clear...when an older felmale gets asked out by a younger male, it doesn't make her a cougar; shouldn't it make the male a poacher?

She's really pretty

There was this guy in one of my classes that I thought was pretty cute so I tried to get him to ask me out. It didn’t really work so I asked him out. We went out to eat and I had a coupon for PF Chang’s, I thought that would be a good place to go for the evening. We showed up and had a small wait but we figured we could just go into the mall and look around. He looked very uncomfortable as we walked around, I tried to make him feel more at ease by trying to be funny, but he wasn’t taking to that; finally our buzzer went off and we ran to the restaurant.

Once inside we began to talk some more about each other. He looked really happy so I asked him why he was so happy. He begins by telling me how he had wanted to go a date with a girl, but had always been too nervous. Thinking it’s me I begin to smile, until I hear the words, “Yes, I have always had a thing for blonds with blue eyes, and she is just what I want. I have had a crush on her for years and I called her and asked her out.” Surprised I begin to wonder what he thinks this is we are on; were we on a date?

During this deep thinking I heard “Oh, yeah I’m one step farther than my friend who has such a hard time with girls. I hope he finds a nice girl. You know a good girl like you; maybe I should give him your number.” Shocked I try to hold it together and quickly ask for the check. Yes, I paid for this dinner. As I begin to pay, he leaves to go to the bathroom and the guy behind me asks me the same things I was wondering “are you on a date? And did he really just tell you all about another girl?” I shrugged and said, “I think so.”

He later tried to kiss me...are you kidding me.

Backlash

Dates are funny, but ex-girlfriends are even better.

1. I remember being in line for lunch at the Missionary Training Center (MTC) and a girl behind me asked how we knew each other. Being puzzled I quickly racked my brain for anything that we both had in common. We finally realized that in college we had lived in the same complex; however that wasn’t satisfactory to her. Moments later her face changed from confusion to pure disgust as she realized something I didn’t know. She had dated my wedding date (the one that proposed) after me and she made sure to let me and everyone in the lunch area know what a horrible person I was for breaking this guy’s heart. In the middle of her yelling I said something I thought would be helpful “Well you should be grateful because if I hadn’t you would have never dated him!” That was a bad choice; it just fueled her fire. After she said her peace she walked away and I don’t remember seeing her ever again. But I had a lot of explaining to do to my friends in the room.

2. Once I returned home from serving in the Czech Republic I began seeing a guy and one day a friend of his, who was a girl, ask me to go to lunch with her. Not sure what was going on but feeling that food is never a bad thing I agreed and met with her. Once there she let me know all about how she had dated him and how he strung her along with the hopes of dating me when I got home. I’m pretty sure she was blaming me for their break-up and wanted me to know how much I didn’t deserve him. All I can say is thank heavens I got food or that would have been a bad way to spend a lunch break.

The HUNT

It was once explained to me that dating is much like hunting; which could not be truer. Another thing that I have come to realize is that there are two types of hunters/daters.

There is the Rambo Type: Without fear they run through the forest shooting at everything in sight.

Then there is the Tree Hugger: This is the one that finds a tree and begins to build him a tree house. He packs himself a lunch and waits for the perfect shot.

Both are good and will come home with great results but when you are interested in a tree hugger, who keeps calling you in but refuses to take the shot it becomes frustrating.

He was No Edward!

*Another blind date*
We went to dinner and it was going well, he seemed normal. I was asking the regular first date questions, when he asked if he could ask a few of his own. I was excited and said of course. His first question: What is your deepest darkest secret? (Talk about a weird question for a first date...or any date for that matter) I replied "Oh I watch America's Next Top Model"
"That's not a secret"
"It is at my house...if that is no good then what is yours?"
"Oh you could handle that"
"Try me"
"Alright, but no laughing"
"Promise"
"I have vampire tendencies!"
{small giggle} "Oh really, what kind?"
"No I'm serious the smell of blood causes an arousal within me"
{realizing he is serious} "Oh...well I guess you could never be a phlebotomist" {trying to laugh}
"You don't think I'm serious, do you?"
"Oh no I believe you and look at that there is my house. I'll just walk myself to the door." (thinking that I could drop and roll with minimal injuries at this speed)
"No I will.."
"Actually, you have been a great date, I just feel sick and would like to skip the whole door scene."
"Alright thanks for coming"

I have never been so scared and on the edge of laughter like that on a date before. I later found out that the girl who lined us up had been on a date with him as well and he did the same thing to her. And people say that Twilight has only had an effect on women...that is bull, it has now introduced new pick up lines.

This is what comes from telling the truth

About nine mouths ago I went on a date with this really great guy and well things fell away and one day he crossed my mind again. So I took a deep breath and texted him (I know very big deal); to my surprised he replied. We went back and forth for awhile when I got the nerve to ask him for help (aka I lied to him) by saying I had some accounting questions for him (which I didn't) and if I could ask them over ice cream. Now I was in big trouble...do I go ahead and make up questions or tell the truth?

I'm not very smooth and knew that if I tried to come up with questions he would see right through them. So once again I knew I would have to put myself out there and come clean. The moment came faster than expected and he asked "so what about those questions?"
{deep breath}"Actually there are not questions, I just wanted to see how you were doing and was too chicken to just ask you out...so yeah!"
{smiling} "Well, Lindsee how is your family?" We continued to talk and I think it went well...I guess we will see. Right now I just feel nervous and hoping that he doesn't think I'm weird; however if not at least I can say I did all I could.

Man with a Plan

One of my good friends was dating a guy who is pretty amazing, and he had a friend that she thought would be a perfect match for me. He was much like his friend that I knew, but there was another side to him that no-one knew about.

He called and asked if we could begin our date earlier than normal, because he had a great plan that would require more time. I said I would love to but I worked until 5. He asked if he could pick me up from work then. I remember being super busy and I wasn’t able to call him back for a day or so when I told him yes, but that I would be dressed up from work. He assured me that it would be fine, because we were just going to dinner and a movie now; his great plan had to be changed. I got off work and there he was, right outside of my work in his car, he kindly opened my door (gentleman like) and we took off for the restaurant. As we entered the restaurant we found that it was going to be a long wait, but he really wanted to eat there. While we were waiting I was able to find out more about him, and we were having a really good conversation, when his phone rang. I heard him say something and look at me; he then said, “I think she could handle it.” Puzzled I just looked at him, when he covered his phone and asked if I was up for hiking the ice caves. I quickly answered, “YES!” We got up right then and head to his car, figuring he would run me home really quick to change, but if that was his plan he was heading the wrong direction. The farther away from town we got the more concerned I became, I even asked or more pointed out that I wasn’t dressed for this activity; I was wearing high heels and nice dress slacks. I think he was zoning me out or something because he kept saying, “oh, you’ll be fine.” When we showed up and I stepped out of the car a hush fell over the crowd of people there. “Dude, your date can’t hike this.”
“Why not?” my date protested.
“She is freaking wearing heels!”
He finally took a look at me and saw what everyone else saw. His face dropped and he said, “Oh, man that is why you kept asking to turn around. I thought you were being chicken or something.” Not knowing what to do he reached in the back of his car and a few of the guys got in the back of their trucks to find me some clothes; I had come all the way out here I might as well hike it, right?! I ended up wearing a pair of someone’s jeans with a rope around it as a belt; a sweatshirt and my heels. I have to say that I was the only one that didn’t fall! I say it was the heels that acted as ice picks. It was interesting, and it only got better when we made it out. We had a fire but no food (I get really mean if I don’t eat), they did however have shot guns. I had been shooting a couple times but was never very good; it must have been the hunger or something because I hit every one of the clay-pigeons; also my date…I didn’t really but he thought and claimed that I did. At the end of the night I was asked to return my loaner clothes. I jumped in the back of his car; it is a lot easier to change into pants then to get out of them. Once I awkwardly got back into my clothes, we left back home. However, we got home pretty late and my car was still parked at work. He took me to the parking lot and awkwardly said good night. I drove home thinking what a night I had.

Monday I arrived at work to tell my tale, when they surprised me with, “Lindsee, there was a guy in here a minute ago looking for you with flowers.” I quickly thought through my mind of who would bring me flowers and this guy popped into my head. He never did come back, but when I went to one of my classes, another person told me the same thing, that a guy had been there with flowers looking for me. I began to be worried and creped out slightly that this guy knew my schedule, but then I calmed myself down with the fact that if he knew it so well he would have been in the right place at the right time. I arrived home with a call on my phone, it was him, “Hey, Lindsee, I was trying to find you today to give you something. Are you home now?”
“yes.”
“okay I’ll see you in a minute.”
5 minutes later a knock was at the door and there he was; flowers in hand with a box. No worries it was a large box, it was a cookie monster from a local restaurant. (Amazing)
“I hope you like these; they made me think of you. I just wanted to thank you for coming with me on that weird date.”

I thought that was sweet of him; but when that became a daily occurrence, I had to put a stop to it. Sometimes guys really don’t have to try so hard, for me it is almost a turn off when they keep bringing me stuff. Every once and awhile it is good, but daily it becomes too much.

The Sweetheart

Once again, another blind date was knocking at my door. My friend from one of my classes knew this guy that was just a sweetheart, and has the worst luck with girls. She asked if I had made plans for the weekend, and if not, would I be willing to go on a date with this gentleman. I agreed that I would go to the dance at the school, gave her my number to have him call me; which he did that night. He sounded nice on the phone and he told me that this dance was to be done in the eighties, and he was dressing up. I was kind of excited because I love the eighties.

I was currently living with the family of my friend and she was kind enough to look through her old clothes to find me something to wear. In the back of her closet was this neon green dress that was perfect. We did my hair all funky and I was set. I hear the door bell ring right on time, and my friend holding in her laughter. I came upstairs to her lying on the ground from laughter, “have a good time.” He looked nice but was in jeans and a white shirt, that’s it; he looked mortified when he saw me. “Wow, that is a bright dress, I guess I won’t lose you anywhere,” where the first words out of his mouth. We walked out to the car where two other couples, not dressed either, were all waiting; we squeezed in the back seat and head for the dance. Once there my date kept disappearing, so I would just dance by my self, until someone I knew came and asked me to dance. Towards the end of the night my date reappeared and was willing to take me home.

I don’t really know how to explain the feelings I had on the way home but out of place and awkward seem to do the trick right now. I saw the house in the distance and heard him say, “Well I had a good time thanks for coming.” Then they were pulling into the driveway. The car stopped, the door opened, I got out and then it closed and the car left. I stood there for a minute in the cold not knowing what to do, when my friend opened the door and said, “That was harsh, he wasn’t even good looking and he smelled funny! This has to be a bad one for you!”

One Date Wonder

The best part about being set up on a blind date is the fact that other people are also invested in your date. It is no longer just the two of you, but the friend, the roommate, the neighbor, or who ever it was that thought of this match up; they are all rooting for this to work...which is a good thing! However if it doesn't work then you have more people that are upset.

This was my biggest concern about this last date. There was a whole neighborhood that was involved in this match up and that gave me hope. We had a good time and for the FIRST time I didn't have a story to tell. We went to dinner and played some games...it was NORMAL!!! I had fun and he seemed to have fun. Then a week later I got an email telling me how he had prayed about it (our date) and felt we needed to see other people. IT WAS ONE DATE!

Heartache

I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm alone with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

Yes! He did say that...

So I figured that if I was going to include all of the dates I should add some of smooth on-liners I have experienced.
#1- “Hey, I have been calling everyone and there is no-one else. Are you busy?”
#2- “I’m bored and have nothing better to do; do you want to go on a date?”
#3- “What is the worst STD you can have?”
#4- “You have birthing hips.”
#5- “Wow, everything about you is small.”
#6- “I don’t remember you being pretty.”
#7- “Oh you’re a basketball fan, too. I think the 49ers are going all the way this year.”
#8- “March Madness? Is that the running of the bulls in Spain?”
#9- “Did you seriously eat all that?!”
#10- “If I didn’t know better, I’d ask you out!”

Don't mess with "the tank" .

Two facts everyone should know about me: first I am magnet for weird dates and second that I can eat a lot of food. All of my friends and family called me the tank; even some of my dates now that I think about it.

I was lined up with a great guy who was sure he could cure my bad luck. He was sent to me by way of my roommate, who told him that I was in desperate need of someone normal. He told me all this in the first few minutes of our date and kind of laughed at my crazy life. “Have you ever tried to get out of a date, once you were on it before?” he asked with a smile. “Sometimes I will look for exits and think of good reasons I would have to go home, but most of the time I just laugh to myself and have fun,” I replied.
“So is it true that if the date goes bad you’ll try to embarrass me?” He asked
“No, I won’t TRY, I WILL embarrass you.” I said with confidence
“Sorry to burst your bubble honey, but I don’t get embarrassed.”
“That’s because you’ve never met me.”
“Okay, hot shot, I’ll bet you dinner for a week that you can’t embarrass me by the end of our date.”
“What if I can embarrass you by the end of our dinner tonight?”
“I’ll be amazed!”

The restaurant was packed that night and after being seated I began to be as clingy and needy as possible. However, he wasn’t budging and if anything he was dishing it right back. I knew that I would have to pull out the big guns to really get this guy. I was racking my brain for something I could get him on, when the waitress came by to clear our plates. I had been so busy plotting that I hadn’t really eaten much of my dinner. She kindly asked if I would need a box, but my date answered for me by saying, “no, the tank can finish it, can’t you?!” I knew I had him…
I threw down my fork and said,
“I knew you thought I was fat! Do you know what I’ve been through for you…so that I could look good for you? I have been running for months so that I could fit into this dress, and be everything you want me to be. I was willing to run my body into the ground so that I could look good. I love you and I’m sorry if I just wanted our anniversary dinner to be perfect so that you wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen with me. But, I was wrong, you are embarrassed, and I’ll never been as good looking as your old girl friends that you’re always comparing me to, why do I even try…” I progressively got louder and louder (remember that it was packed that night).

His eyes got really big and he was begging for our check to come faster. In the mean time he desperately tried to calm me down and get us out of there. As he was pushing me out the door I kept saying, “Oh no I’ve embarrassed you! I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry.” Once we were out in the car I smiled and said, “I’ll have café Rio one of the days please!”

He was in shock for a good 30 minutes; and did know what else to do but take me home that night. He did tell me though, that if there was an Olympic event for embarrassing someone I would have the gold. He never asked me out again…I wonder why.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
But, the story is not done there. I was at work and one of the ladies told me she had finally heard a story that could top mine (like a said earlier it was pretty well know that I have ridiculous dates). She begins by saying how this guy went on a blind date and his date had a complete melt down in the restaurant, all to win lunch for a week. “Oh hey there he is now,” she said quietly. Right then he walked over and handed me my lunch; they all looked at me; what else could I say at that moment but, “he asked for it!”

Less is more?

I have always liked it when people felt comfortable enough to just tell me the truth, but it’s the out of the blue comments that always get me. I happened to take the guy I was dating with me to the mall to look at a skirt I was thinking about buying, figuring that he would give me an honest opinion, which he did, surprising I know.

We were just roaming around the store, and he was getting tired so he was a few feet behind me when I saw this dress that I would never wear. I was laughing to myself as I picked it up thinking who would ever wear this; it was strapless and looked like someone had thrown up on it. He came up behind me and said, “I don’t think you could fill that one out Linz.” I quickly said, “what?!”
“Well, Linz this dress requires that you have something to hold it up and you don’t really…you’re…” I couldn’t believe he had just said that, so I hit him and started walking to the car. He followed and kept saying, “Linz it doesn’t matter to me what your chest size is…oh man, I’m stopping now.” I had never been happier for him to stop talking. We had a few things to drop off and pick-up at his parents’ house, which we did on our way to my house. Once inside his mom could tell something was bothering me and asked what was wrong. I tried to brush it off, but she kept asking and finally I just said that her son had told me something very shocking and I didn’t know how to handle it yet. His dad came in at this point and was just as curious to find out what his son had said. I finally just said, “Well he told me that I couldn’t fill out a dress.” His mom hit him and his dad said, “That’s why I like you because I know he isn’t thinking about that.” I didn’t know how to take that.

The Rexburg Guide...

I had just gotten out of class and was planning to meet up with someone; I found a nice looking bench and sat down to begin my wait. After a few minutes my phone rang and the person I was waiting for couldn’t come, and we would have to do something later. Being slightly bummed I took a deep breath and went to leave. Right then, the gentleman sitting next to me, (whom I didn’t notice before) asked if I knew where someone could get a tour of the university. I pointed out the building that the admissions office was located. He told me he had already tried and they were all full for the day, but he only had today off to look at things. I got ready to say how sorry I was when he said, “I’m sorry but I happened to hear that your date was canceled and I was wondering if maybe you could just give me a quick tour?” I figured I wasn’t doing anything so I said I would. I walked him around and pointed out all of the buildings explaining each one. We arrived back at our beginning point and said, “Sorry this wasn’t very good, but I hope it helped.” He smiled and said “yes it did, thank you.” I got ready to walk away, when he said, “Hey, wait I never got your name.”
“Lindsee.”
“Okay, Ms. Lindsee, what would you think of a guy who thought you were cute and didn’t know how to ask you out so he convinced you to take him on a tour?”
“I would think that he was a chicken, but cute.”

Who looks good in hats?

This date was set up as though we were going to be hanging out in a big group, but ended up just being the two of us. He was cute and saw this as a wonderful opportunity. We went to the new James Bond movie at the time and later went to play pool. I was never good at playing pool and he wanted to play that the loser bought dessert. I didn’t have any money in my purse and so I knew that I needed to win. I got a few good shots and was doing better than expected; he was doing just as well though. He had gotten down to one ball and the eight ball left; I had a few more than that on the table. This was a time for desperate measures. I had heard once that the most tender spot on the body was right behind the ear; I figured I would test this out. As he was getting his shot all set up I slowly walked behind him and blew ever so gently on the back of his neck and up to his ear. I have never seen anyone drop to their knees that fast; I guess it really is the most tender spot on the body. I ended up winning because he knocked in the eight ball, and I cleaned up.

I must have left a lasting impression, because he invited me to come and play football with him and his friends (or it was pay back?). Now note that it was WINTER time and we were playing football; I showed up all buddle up, and he looked surprised. After playing for awhile, and no one could feel their fingers and toes, we finally called it a day. On the way out he walked me to my car and mentioned how I looked different then the night before. I asked “how so?”
“Well I remember you looking nicer.”
“Because I did, today I came prepared to get dirty.”
Touching my beanie on my head he looked at me and said, “In all honesty, you look like a hobo today.” I’m pretty sure one of my ‘are you kidding me glances’ came out at that point, because he continued,
“I just was telling all my buddies how pretty you were and I was excited to show you off and then you came like this.”
To which I just said, “I’m sorry that I embarrassed you, but what were you hoping I would come dressed like when we’re playing football in the snow?”
He tried really hard after that to get his foot out of his mouth and I wasn’t helping him at all. Finally he just ripped the hat off my head and said,
“I’m sorry Linz but you just do not look good in hats, they make you look like a homeless person.”

The Great Sniffer!

Over time going on unusual blind dates does wear on a person, and I found myself wanting to just have something “normal” for a change. Boy meets girl, boy thinks girl is cute and boy asks girl out. How difficult can that be? I’m sure I must have mentioned this a time or two to my friends, because they would all say the same thing when lining me up again, “I know you hate blind dates, but…” I soon learned that you can’t pick what life gives you; all you can do is enjoy the ride.

This date wasn’t really a date per say; more of a gathering were two people could meet. A friend of mine thought she had found a man that would be the perfect match for me: funny, smart and good-looking (as all of these men were). She planned a movie night at her apartment where I could come meet him and if this was a good match take it from there. What a genius idea; previewing your blind date. Little did I know that not only was he informed about this little set up too, but everyone invited to the party as well. It was a date. After getting introduced ten times and everyone moving so that we could sit by one another, we both got the hint. We began to talk and discovered that he sat right behind me in one of my classes (I transferred out of it week into the semester though) but he remembered me and said that I smelled good. He was actually pretty good-looking and my heart jumped a little bit to think that he thought I was worth remembering. However, this is my life and of course he continued that sentence,
“…but tonight you smell different.”
“Different, is that a good or a bad thing?”
“It’s not b..a..d.”
“But it’s not good.”
“I don’t know what it is but you smell like something I have smelt before. Give me a minute I’ll figure it out.”

Being slightly bothered at this point, I thought I should do my own assessment. I slowly began smelling different locations on my body; only to discover that maybe my deodorant was beginning to wear off from all this stress. He leaned over and said,
“I’ve got it you smell like cat food.”
“Cat food?”
“Yes”
“Why, I don’t have cats and am allergic to them.”
“Weird, I wonder why.”

The movie finished and nothing more was said about it. I made my way for the door looking for my friend to thank her but she was nowhere to be seen; I said my good-byes and headed for my car.

Once I was home I noticed that I had a text message on my phone; I had forgotten that my phone was still on silent from the movie. I opened the message to find that it was the Great Sniffer himself. He apologized for acting so weird and explained how he sometimes gets obsessed with figuring things out; then came the best part. “I think I know why you smelled like cat food…what time of the month is it for you?”
After picking my jaw off the ground I pushed reply and typed, I don’t know who you are but, I am Tiffany and my husband will be ticked if you text me again.
Can you believe that? Who says that? I really was questioning his intelligence at that point.

I ran into him a few weeks later and he was surprised that I would pretend that he had the wrong number. I reminded him how he told me I smelled like cat food, and asked about my period.

This could be Eternal

Movies tell us that weddings are the best places to find someone, but I think there needs to be a disclaimer; just like with new medications: this could lead to intense dating, proposal or marriage.

He was one of the sweetest guys I have known and I got the opportunity to drive him to and from a wedding we both attended. He spoke a maximum of 10 words on our way there, which mostly came from my continual questioning. He must have figured I would put him through this again on the way back if he didn’t initiate the conversation. We actually spoke the whole 4 hours back to the university. I dropped him off at his apartment and didn’t think much about things. Later that week I ran into him, we talked on my way to class and he was there when I got out of class, so we talked some more. He asked me to go to a dance with him that the university was having; it was a lot of fun, but I could tell from that date how different we were and that he needed someone a little more on the softer side; but we could and would be the best of friends. A day or so later I was in the library and saw him out of the corner of my eye, coming towards me. “How did he find me?” I kept thinking. He came over and told me that I needed a break from studying and he was prepared to help me with that task. He kindly asked to take my books, but I had a major test coming up and I didn’t think that would be the best idea. He finally grabbed my books and made a break for it; with me running behind trying to get them back. We threw them in a locker and said, “Now you’ll just have to come with me.” He head towards the park near by, with me fuming behind him. As we got there I noticed that there was a blanket and a pinic basket; yes we had a picnic! It was actually pretty nice to have a break, get some fresh air, but after a few hours, I knew that I needed to get back to my books. He agreed this time and released my books to me, well to himself to carry for me. We headed to my apartment; he began asking all kinds of questions about me, including my middle name. After reaching the third floor where I lived, he began the normal dialog, “I had a really great time today, thank you for coming.” I gave him a hug to thank him but when I let go, he didn’t I thought and said out loud “Oh, no!” He must have not heard me because he just continued on.
“Lindsee, there is something about you that makes me want to be better…Lindsee Leah Anderson I love you and think we need to plan our lives together.”

Being in shock I said NO and that I needed to go. He begged me to know what was wrong, I quickly replied,
“You don’t even know me.”
“That’s what we’ll spend our lives doing,” he said.
“But, to really make steps forward like the one your thinking requires some simple facts.”
“I already know the ones that matter, and that is that I love you.”
“Okay, you know what... if you can answer some simple questions then I’ll think about it. What is my dad’s name?”
“Jeff.”
“No, it’s Clay. What is my favorite color?”
“Pink.”
“Are you kidding me? Red”
“But pink is a hew of red”
“Alright easiest question, what is my favorite food?
“Salad!”
“What? it’s mashed potatoes!”
“See, you don’t know anything about me, and you only learned my middle name a few seconds ago. You are so sweet but we are too different I’m loud and you’re not, I would eat you alive.”
He looked at me as though I had ripped his heart out and done a Mexican dance on it, which in honesty I had; however, he smiled and walked away like a gentleman.

And if I remember correctly he was married shortly after that!

All's fair in love and war...right?!

I have to say that if it wasn’t for the fact that we would kill each other, one of my guy friends and I would be the best fit. He kindly took me to a school dance after a mess of a break up and I have to say it was a lot of fun. We had gone sledding and towards the end of the day we had become competitive and wanted to race each other to the bottom (typical me). I had the lead and was prepared to make my victory speech when I felt a tug on the back of me sled. My date had a hold of it and was trying to push me off the hill or slow me down; one of the two. Because of this little sprawl we were having, we didn’t notice the wall of snow in front of us. Lucky for him he saw it in time to turn out of the way; I on the other hand saw and felt it at the same time. I didn’t know snow was so painful! I woke up to my date standing over me say, "are you okay?" Once my head was no longer in a fog, he kindly explained how the "snow bank" I hit was a brick wall with a light covering of snow.

My date was impressed that I was able to walk at all the rest of the night and carried pain medication in his pocket for me the rest of our date. My poor head, and what is sad is that this would not be the last time I would have a concussion on a date.

Our next date I got even though; he made the plan to go to the lake. I think he figured that the liquid form would be safer for the both of us, but once again we proved that we are safe together. We were out on these twin size mattresses, playing king of the mountain, I was winning at the time when he got the idea to make a go at it. He jumped up in a frontal assault and I went to kick him off, but I hit him dead on, we were done after that. Poor guy!

You again?

Have you ever been on a date and ANOTHER guy you dated shows up? Yep, has to one of the most nerve-racking moments anyone can have; especially when you have no idea why the first guy never asked you out again. I went on a blind date and found myself at a location where I was sure I had been before, when we walked inside I knew exactly where I had seen it before; my date two months earlier! I tried so hard to act normal but when man number one comes around the corner and says, “Oh my gosh I know you….we went out on that…date!” My date at the time then asks “why didn’t you continue dating?” In unison we both say “I’m not sure!” …
Yeah, it was just awkward for the rest of the night. Which is fine, I’m not sure if my date really knew we were on a date, because before that he kept leaving, flirting with the other girls and asking me all the friend type questions.

Superman Dates?

As usual I was set up on a blind date; awhile ago, but it never worked out. However, he called me the other day and we went out to eat. He was really cute and seemed like someone you could carry a normal conversation with; something new for me! After he orders his food though, his phone rings. He picks it up and mouths to me that he has to take this; and goes outside. I sit at the table and look around...nope still not back. I wait some more, and our food came but not him. Not knowing what to do, I wait to eat. After some time, I can feel the heat of our food leaving, the waiter kindly took his food to the back to keep it warm and I begin to eat...I'm sorry I was hungry. It's good thing that I did though because he was gone for almost an HOUR!!!
He did come back at about the same time I was about to call someone to come and get me. He never really explained what happened, just said he had something come up. He then took me home and we said good night.
It was just so weird, and it got me thinking that maybe he is superman and had to save the world during dinner!

Asking for Trouble

This guy felt so bad that he wanted to make it up to me. Yes, I had the nerve to go another date with him. However, this time it was more of a group thing…which I guess the other one started out as…oh well. We were planning to go sledding, with some people from his neighborhood. When I arrived I found that not only was I the only one that didn’t know anyone (again), but there were no other girls. I went sledding with a group of guys (not bad odds). We arrived at the location and discovered that the hill was covered in people. We ended up hiking up the side of the mountain to reach a new place. All of the guys kept looking down the hill when we made it to the top, almost puzzled as to what to do next. I wasn’t about to just sit there; I grabbed a sled and made a run at it. Once my feet left the ground, I felt a great rush of excitement. In my joy I looked back to see if anyone else had taken the plunge; however, all I could see was all of them running down the hill screaming. I became puzzled myself and turned around just in time to see the cliff up ahead. I was lucky that it wasn’t a major drop off but I did land only inches away from my face being submerged in a nearly frozen stream. I sat up and just looked up at the place I once was; how lucky could one person be. I had a few minutes to think about things like this before all of them were attacking me with questions. They kindly helped me up to the car and my date took me down to a place where we could have some hot chocolate. Once I could feel my figures and other parts of my body, I began to feel the ache and figured I should just go home at that point. He kindly took me to my car and I drove home.

He called later that night to check up on me; I was glad to report that I only had a few bumps and bruises. He felt really bad for everything that had happened and somehow, he once again asked me out and I said yes. I tell you I was gluten for punishment. This time it was a date to Classic skating in Salt Lake. I had roller-bladed before and it had to be like riding a bike, right? It would have been, but he was convinced that I need to learn how to roller-skate. He assured me that it was the same idea and I would be fine. Wrong, as soon as my feet hit the floor I knew I was doomed; however I have never given up on anything without giving it a fair attempt first (explains my whole dating life). I was doing okay in my own little world of left foot right foot; I had blocked out everyone, it was just me and the skates. I was beginning to get the hang of it when an intruder tried to join my world. Yes, my date’s hand had met mine, an unexpected entry which shocked me. I threw up my arms and my legs went every which way, knocking my date and myself to the ground. Rushing pain began to hit my body, but most of it was focused on my arm. Looking over at it I saw that my date was lying on top of it; no wonder it hurt. He jumped up and helped me off the floor to a bench. I was wearing a jacket and once I took that off I could see that my elbow was no longer in its normal location. It looked like a major black and blue mess; knowing that this couldn’t be good I called my brother. He came and looked at it and in one swift move my elbow was back in place; the pain was still there, which he told me it would be for awhile. At this point I gave him a kiss on the check and said that I would just have my brother take me home. He called me a few times after that but it never really worked out; I thought it would be safer that way for me.

Daddy's Girl

One of my good friends knew a guy in one of his classes that was single and in his own words, “a major stud.” He gave him my number and later that day he called and asked me out for a big group date. I figured that this would be good, seeing how my friend would be there so I agreed. I was upstairs getting ready for our date, when the door bell rang. He was early and my dad answered the door. The next thing I heard was, “Coach Anderson.” I quickly put on my shoes and ran to the door, to find my date petrified to the wall and my dad smiling. I guess the class he and my friend shared was my dad’s. I helped him out the door and somehow he gained strength once in the car, but couldn’t get over the fact that I was Coach Anderson’s daughter (he said that the whole way to the hockey game in Salt Lake). I tried everything to get him to talk about anything else, but no luck.

We arrived at the parking lot where we were meeting the rest of our group. I looked through all the faces and my friend was nowhere to be found. I was on a blind date and knew no-one, this could be fun, I thought to myself. We headed up to our seats in the nose bleed section, to only discover that we still had a good 45 minutes before the game started. My date and I went looking for something to drink to pass the time. There was nothing on our floor so we thought we would go down a few floors. While waiting for the elevator, my date noticed the stairs and said, “Hey, this will be faster.” We headed down the stairs and once we reached the first door we found that it was locked. We went to the next, and it too was locked; just like all of them. Yes, we were locked in the stairwell and the only way out was to the parking lot. Neither one of us had a cell phone, our tickets nor his car keys.
I spent the rest of the evening asking him questions about himself and got no more that one word answers. I couldn’t take this boredom anymore and began banging on the door; lucky for me a man walked past, heard me and let us out. We were greeted by, “what have you two been doing?” I’m pretty sure he thought we planned on get stuck in there with his tone of voice. His friends came to the same conclusion I think.

We did go out to eat afterwards and things were looking up. We ordered our dinner but the only thing I can remember from that dinner was the chocolate shake he had that night; because it was all over the front of me in one swift move. I was beginning to think that we should call it a night and luckily he agreed. He kindly gave me his jacket to put over me and quickly left the restaurant. He was in shock and I think that is why he was speeding and got pulled over. This poor guy! The officer came to the window to do his routine; asked for the driver’s license of my date, who handed the officer his debt card. The policeman took this as insulting and asked him, in a harsher voice to hand him the license and registration. I couldn’t take it anymore and began to laugh; puzzled the officer asked why I found this funny. I explained our whole night, chocolate shake and all. He didn’t believe me so I opened my jacket to expose my white with chocolate drizzle motif. The officer laughed and gave us a warning; the least I could have done for this guy. Being grateful he seemed to loosen up a bit and we had a good talk home, so good that he didn’t signal when getting off the freeway…yes he was pulled over again, he wasn’t so lucky this time. He was beat I think at this point, why else would he miss my street 5 times. I did make it home alive and he was so scared something else might happen he didn’t walk me to the door; good thing because my dad was waiting.

He took it back!

So maybe having guy friends was a bad idea! I've had this friend for quite some time and he is the type of guy (that I don't know how) seems to know just what to say or do to calm me down. I can be completely frazzled and I'll leave him feeling that everything will be okay. I know what you're all thinking...but no, he has made it pretty clear that we will not date; so I thought. Awhile ago he invited me to hang out with him and a few friends. It was much needed, but at the end of the night he walked me to my car, gave me a hug and a KISS. It was surprising and kind of nice; he even smiled as he walked away...giving me the impression that he likewise agreed. However, a few days later I got a frantic text saying "I NEED TO TAKE THAT BACK!" After a little questioning, I realized that he meant the kiss. His reason: because we have such a good friendship that he didn't want to lose me if things went wrong.
Well he should have thought of this before, don't you think?

I tell you cute/romantic moments are not in the cards for me!

From the beginning...

Have you ever watched a movie and thought to yourself, "oh if only that happened in real life?" or said out loud, "That only happens in the movies!" I know that I have, but little did I know that the moment I became of "dating" age, my life would turn into one major production! I wish I could say that it was all "foot popping" kisses or the man of my dreams chasing after me...but who knows...I've still got time.

However, that is not at all how my dating life has been up to this point. I have been on over 40 blind dates and each one has it's own story. I thought I could share some of the latest and greatest, with you.

I guess we should start at the beginning of where this whole mess began. I know that there had to have been several places where it could have originated, but I am convinced that a major blow to the head truly sealed my fate.

FIRST KISS: After being on a few dates with this guy; I figured that I would brave the moment that all young girls wait for, that foot popping kiss, as it says in the movies. We began to make the very long and awkward walk to the doorstep, my heart racing and not really knowing what to expect. There was no music and when he leaned in I lost all intelligence; "was I expected to go to the left or the right?" I got so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t notice what was in front of me until, BOOM and a flash of light. I grabbed my head to stop the pain and realized that we had collided heads with such force that we turn the clapper light on in the house. That was not how I saw things going in my head, and it would be awhile before I could really make sense of anything in my head after that. Maybe that is why it didn’t really register until hours later that he had kissed me. He must have had a thicker skull then I did because he recovered much better and just moments after bent down and kissed me ever so gently. That was my first kiss, and if you ask me it sealed my fate of unusual dating and laughable experiences for life.