Watch out here I come

Okay so... dating Ryan is the best!!! He has so much energy ALL the time. Here is the run down of dates we've been on for the last month:

* Nerf gun war in the park, bbq pork sandwiches, snakes...oh the petsmart guy (ryan maybe jealous???)
* Closing time at the parks :)
* Bonfires
* Drives
* Bounce gym...that rock wall that my fingers would not release me, so I could fall into the foam pit
* Alphabet game...words that start with E
* Battle of the couch
* Sonic runs
* Star gazzing
* Ryan took me to see his project at BYU
* Scary movie...Ryan watched, I did not
* Dinner with family
* Kneaders breakfast
* Park city
* Birthday celebration
* Canada to meet the parents.....SAY WHAT???
Yep I'm going to Canada to meet Ryan's parents after dating him a month...things are getting serious, Lindsee may be freaking out (maybe A LOT).

NAMED

If you haven't noticed I never name anyone in the blog but here for the first time ever I will name one of my dates...mostly because I have a good feeling about this one :)

I wanted to thank Ryan for taking me out on one of the best dates ever, so I made him soup. I went to his apartment and dropped off his soup and got talking to him. (Man he's such a good guy) We can talk for hour and we did. We were laughing so hard then he stopped and asked
"Can I kiss you?"....not waiting for my response he kissed me! (I would later learn that this would sum up our dating of Ryan just jumping in)
It was a good kiss and I did say yes when he pulled away.

Benefits of going Blind

So I have spent all my time on this blog telling how weird and strange my dating life is...and guess what... weird can be good. I joined this app on my phone called Tinder (quick dating app), and I have met some VERY interesting people; but more importantly I met this crazy canadian. He wasn't a fan of getting to know me through tinder and so he got my number pretty quick and asked me out. ALL is good...but 5 days before our date (the night of the huge rain storm) he called and ask if I wanted to get pina colada shushies (like the song) and wait out the rain; since his hike and my football game got rained out. I agree and when I opened the door I had never been so happy I said yes! There he was tall dark and handsome. Yes, I was one happy girl and the rest of our date was amazing. We laughed all night and I even introduced him to my grandmother and brother when we decided to go to the football game. I couldn't believe how natural this date was and I felt different about him...like coming home.

At the end of our date he took me home and asked
"Have you ever been on multiple dates in one day?"
"Yes. Have you?"
"Well, yes...you're my second date today."
"Haha okay" (I think 'great here is the weird let down part that he wasn't having as much fun as me')
"I really had fun with the first date, but I now see that it wasn't by chance that I asked you out tonight. You were so much better than her. I've never had this much fun on a date. If you're okay with it I'm only going to be asking you out from now on."

Now that's a good first date!

Thanks but no

Last night I went out on a date that was the same old. This guy was great but durning dinner I knew it wasn't going to work. However, I learned a very powerful lesson and had a positive look at why dating this last year has been full of ... Confusing moments. I NEEDED IT!!! Some of you know that last year I lost a big part of myself and my life became confusing. Naturally I figured that if I found a man, got married, and moved on to a new stage of life that my life would make sense. Haha I know funny right...life rarely makes sense and how did I expect to find happiness when I wasn't even sure what made me happy? But at the time I was convinced that I just needed to put more fish in my pool :) Thankfully someone knew that I needed to get back to Lindsee and not the lost puppy I had become; so He sent me a group of guys that would bring a small piece of her back, date by date. This is what I came to realize on last nights date. As I sat there and talk to this guy I finally felt confident and content with me. It was like a welcome back party and now lets begin life. Though I have a long way to go I feel sure of myself and I know things will work out.

Motto

After years of listening to people's advice and realizing that no one has the "right or perfect" equation to dating...all they have is what worked for them so as one who has tried something new I wish to share a motto that came to me that I feel has really helped me hold my head high when I feel like things are not working right

When you do all you can you never admit defeat but realize that you did all you could and can live knowing that the reason for failure was not because you didn't act.

Movie buff

I love movies...I enjoy seeing conflict and resolve, somehow it makes me feel like things can be fixed...I don't know if that makes sense to you? Anyways tonight as I said good night to someone I like, it hit me that the feelings I have for him are not the same feelings he has for me. Now let's fill you in.: he is someone that made me believe in love at first sight. I don't know what it is but I really like him, and find myself liking him the more I see him. I asked him out and it was the best date I had been on, things seemed good...and they still are but he never did ask me out and its been months. I have a feeling he likes me but our depth is different. Now in the movies there are two types of roles: leading lady and best friend. In his mind (and lately in mine) I've been the best friend. There isn't anything wrong with the best friend role but shouldn't I be the leading lady in my own life? Shouldn't I be the one being chased, or have some excited to see me? Maybe I'm all wrong I don't know take this post as thoughts from someone lost in a world of dating but not.