Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Research Shows

My dating scene had become so ridiculous that everyone in our complex knew all about it. One of the girls was studying human behaviors and decided to do her final project on dating behaviors, and yes you guessed it, I was selected to go on a blind date that she would be filming. My date was also selected at random and we had to keep a journal of our thoughts and feelings throughout the whole experience. I remember getting the phone call from my date informing me that I needed to bring untraditional eating utensils (cereal box for a plate, a shot-glass as a cup, potato-masher for a fork, ect.) I went through my apartment looking for the most unusual things I owned. When he arrived I could tell that this was going to be one heck of a date. When he opened the door to the apartment we would be eating at, I saw a nicely set dinner table, and became confused why I needed to bring my own dishes. Almost reading my mind my date smiled and said,
“That’s not for us.”

He then walked over to another table that had nothing on it and said, “This is for us!” I thought to myself, okay this is more like my dates. He opened the bag he had in his hand and began setting up my place-setting and I figured that the utensils I brought must have been for him; so I proceeded to place them in front of him. Our dinner soon followed: spaghetti and meatballs. As it was gently laid on my plastic sack (my plate) and lemonade was poured into my tin soup cup, I picked up my wooden spoon that was the size of my head and tried to eat it. The long and short of it was my food landed everywhere but my mouth. I don’t think I have laughed that hard though as when I looked over and saw him trying to eat with a wire-whisk. Once we cleaned up from dinner we were interviewed about what we thought of the date. Then we returned to play a game with the other couples; a good bonding moment. We were each given a bowl of apples and an empty bowl to place behind us. Our goal was to get as many of the apples from one bowl to another by having one person place an apple under their chin and the other person without hands picking it up with their chin (awkward moments are bound to happen). I’m proud to say we got the most apples passed and have a very nice picture where it looks like we are necking. We were interview once more and then we headed for home. We showed up at my front porch and both started laughing, he said he would give me a call and we could go on a real date sometime.

A day later, the girl who was putting this whole project together had to report on her findings and asked all of us to come and explain what we thought. I remember us being in a pretty good size classroom and almost being seated like a panel. We were asked why we thought this date did or did not work. My date started by saying that our date went well because I had a good sense of humor and that I was confident in who I was; right then my phone begins ringing (my roommate had been messing with my phone and changed the ring tone) “Don’t you wish you’re girlfriend was hot like me” at the highest volume possible. Without skipping a beat my date says, “Like I said Lindsee doesn’t lack in self confidence.”

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Cougar Town

I would like to make this clear...when an older felmale gets asked out by a younger male, it doesn't make her a cougar; shouldn't it make the male a poacher?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

She's really pretty

There was this guy in one of my classes that I thought was pretty cute so I tried to get him to ask me out. It didn’t really work so I asked him out. We went out to eat and I had a coupon for PF Chang’s, I thought that would be a good place to go for the evening. We showed up and had a small wait but we figured we could just go into the mall and look around. He looked very uncomfortable as we walked around, I tried to make him feel more at ease by trying to be funny, but he wasn’t taking to that; finally our buzzer went off and we ran to the restaurant.

Once inside we began to talk some more about each other. He looked really happy so I asked him why he was so happy. He begins by telling me how he had wanted to go a date with a girl, but had always been too nervous. Thinking it’s me I begin to smile, until I hear the words, “Yes, I have always had a thing for blonds with blue eyes, and she is just what I want. I have had a crush on her for years and I called her and asked her out.” Surprised I begin to wonder what he thinks this is we are on; were we on a date?

During this deep thinking I heard “Oh, yeah I’m one step farther than my friend who has such a hard time with girls. I hope he finds a nice girl. You know a good girl like you; maybe I should give him your number.” Shocked I try to hold it together and quickly ask for the check. Yes, I paid for this dinner. As I begin to pay, he leaves to go to the bathroom and the guy behind me asks me the same things I was wondering “are you on a date? And did he really just tell you all about another girl?” I shrugged and said, “I think so.”

He later tried to kiss me...are you kidding me.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Backlash

Dates are funny, but ex-girlfriends are even better.

1. I remember being in line for lunch at the Missionary Training Center (MTC) and a girl behind me asked how we knew each other. Being puzzled I quickly racked my brain for anything that we both had in common. We finally realized that in college we had lived in the same complex; however that wasn’t satisfactory to her. Moments later her face changed from confusion to pure disgust as she realized something I didn’t know. She had dated my wedding date (the one that proposed) after me and she made sure to let me and everyone in the lunch area know what a horrible person I was for breaking this guy’s heart. In the middle of her yelling I said something I thought would be helpful “Well you should be grateful because if I hadn’t you would have never dated him!” That was a bad choice; it just fueled her fire. After she said her peace she walked away and I don’t remember seeing her ever again. But I had a lot of explaining to do to my friends in the room.

2. Once I returned home from serving in the Czech Republic I began seeing a guy and one day a friend of his, who was a girl, ask me to go to lunch with her. Not sure what was going on but feeling that food is never a bad thing I agreed and met with her. Once there she let me know all about how she had dated him and how he strung her along with the hopes of dating me when I got home. I’m pretty sure she was blaming me for their break-up and wanted me to know how much I didn’t deserve him. All I can say is thank heavens I got food or that would have been a bad way to spend a lunch break.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

The HUNT

It was once explained to me that dating is much like hunting; which could not be truer. Another thing that I have come to realize is that there are two types of hunters/daters.

There is the Rambo Type: Without fear they run through the forest shooting at everything in sight.

Then there is the Tree Hugger: This is the one that finds a tree and begins to build him a tree house. He packs himself a lunch and waits for the perfect shot.

Both are good and will come home with great results but when you are interested in a tree hugger, who keeps calling you in but refuses to take the shot it becomes frustrating.

Friday, July 23, 2010

He was No Edward!

*Another blind date*
We went to dinner and it was going well, he seemed normal. I was asking the regular first date questions, when he asked if he could ask a few of his own. I was excited and said of course. His first question: What is your deepest darkest secret? (Talk about a weird question for a first date...or any date for that matter) I replied "Oh I watch America's Next Top Model"
"That's not a secret"
"It is at my house...if that is no good then what is yours?"
"Oh you could handle that"
"Try me"
"Alright, but no laughing"
"Promise"
"I have vampire tendencies!"
{small giggle} "Oh really, what kind?"
"No I'm serious the smell of blood causes an arousal within me"
{realizing he is serious} "Oh...well I guess you could never be a phlebotomist" {trying to laugh}
"You don't think I'm serious, do you?"
"Oh no I believe you and look at that there is my house. I'll just walk myself to the door." (thinking that I could drop and roll with minimal injuries at this speed)
"No I will.."
"Actually, you have been a great date, I just feel sick and would like to skip the whole door scene."
"Alright thanks for coming"

I have never been so scared and on the edge of laughter like that on a date before. I later found out that the girl who lined us up had been on a date with him as well and he did the same thing to her. And people say that Twilight has only had an effect on women...that is bull, it has now introduced new pick up lines.

This is what comes from telling the truth

About nine mouths ago I went on a date with this really great guy and well things fell away and one day he crossed my mind again. So I took a deep breath and texted him (I know very big deal); to my surprised he replied. We went back and forth for awhile when I got the nerve to ask him for help (aka I lied to him) by saying I had some accounting questions for him (which I didn't) and if I could ask them over ice cream. Now I was in big trouble...do I go ahead and make up questions or tell the truth?

I'm not very smooth and knew that if I tried to come up with questions he would see right through them. So once again I knew I would have to put myself out there and come clean. The moment came faster than expected and he asked "so what about those questions?"
{deep breath}"Actually there are not questions, I just wanted to see how you were doing and was too chicken to just ask you out...so yeah!"
{smiling} "Well, Lindsee how is your family?" We continued to talk and I think it went well...I guess we will see. Right now I just feel nervous and hoping that he doesn't think I'm weird; however if not at least I can say I did all I could.