Benefits of going Blind

So I have spent all my time on this blog telling how weird and strange my dating life is...and guess what... weird can be good. I joined this app on my phone called Tinder (quick dating app), and I have met some VERY interesting people; but more importantly I met this crazy canadian. He wasn't a fan of getting to know me through tinder and so he got my number pretty quick and asked me out. ALL is good...but 5 days before our date (the night of the huge rain storm) he called and ask if I wanted to get pina colada shushies (like the song) and wait out the rain; since his hike and my football game got rained out. I agree and when I opened the door I had never been so happy I said yes! There he was tall dark and handsome. Yes, I was one happy girl and the rest of our date was amazing. We laughed all night and I even introduced him to my grandmother and brother when we decided to go to the football game. I couldn't believe how natural this date was and I felt different about him...like coming home.

At the end of our date he took me home and asked
"Have you ever been on multiple dates in one day?"
"Yes. Have you?"
"Well, yes...you're my second date today."
"Haha okay" (I think 'great here is the weird let down part that he wasn't having as much fun as me')
"I really had fun with the first date, but I now see that it wasn't by chance that I asked you out tonight. You were so much better than her. I've never had this much fun on a date. If you're okay with it I'm only going to be asking you out from now on."

Now that's a good first date!

Thanks but no

Last night I went out on a date that was the same old. This guy was great but durning dinner I knew it wasn't going to work. However, I learned a very powerful lesson and had a positive look at why dating this last year has been full of ... Confusing moments. I NEEDED IT!!! Some of you know that last year I lost a big part of myself and my life became confusing. Naturally I figured that if I found a man, got married, and moved on to a new stage of life that my life would make sense. Haha I know funny right...life rarely makes sense and how did I expect to find happiness when I wasn't even sure what made me happy? But at the time I was convinced that I just needed to put more fish in my pool :) Thankfully someone knew that I needed to get back to Lindsee and not the lost puppy I had become; so He sent me a group of guys that would bring a small piece of her back, date by date. This is what I came to realize on last nights date. As I sat there and talk to this guy I finally felt confident and content with me. It was like a welcome back party and now lets begin life. Though I have a long way to go I feel sure of myself and I know things will work out.

Motto

After years of listening to people's advice and realizing that no one has the "right or perfect" equation to dating...all they have is what worked for them so as one who has tried something new I wish to share a motto that came to me that I feel has really helped me hold my head high when I feel like things are not working right

When you do all you can you never admit defeat but realize that you did all you could and can live knowing that the reason for failure was not because you didn't act.

Movie buff

I love movies...I enjoy seeing conflict and resolve, somehow it makes me feel like things can be fixed...I don't know if that makes sense to you? Anyways tonight as I said good night to someone I like, it hit me that the feelings I have for him are not the same feelings he has for me. Now let's fill you in.: he is someone that made me believe in love at first sight. I don't know what it is but I really like him, and find myself liking him the more I see him. I asked him out and it was the best date I had been on, things seemed good...and they still are but he never did ask me out and its been months. I have a feeling he likes me but our depth is different. Now in the movies there are two types of roles: leading lady and best friend. In his mind (and lately in mine) I've been the best friend. There isn't anything wrong with the best friend role but shouldn't I be the leading lady in my own life? Shouldn't I be the one being chased, or have some excited to see me? Maybe I'm all wrong I don't know take this post as thoughts from someone lost in a world of dating but not.

Brothers...

So I have grown up with amazing brothers. I have truly looked up to them and trusted their every word. This past year I kind of lost myself...well I didn't realize it until I had a conversation with my brother. I expressed to him how I was tired of dating and didn't understand why it was so hard. I am willing to to try anything (a good motto to live by, because you never know what is beyond a cover) and yet I am no where close to anything or anyone. I think it was the third time I've cried in front of my brother...something he doesn't really know how to handle. This brother and I aren't the closest but yet I know in a minutes notice he would come to my aide. That is why it was so strange that on this night I went seeking his assistance. He honestly told me what he thought...hard to swallow. This conversation lasted a long time and I felt the size of a pea but yet extremely powerful. We set some ground rules for "my new dating life":
1. Figure out who you are and do things you like
2. Stop dating
3. Make a list of things you want to have in a spouse and then start becoming that list
4. Don't let other people tell me how to date
5. Have faith and confidence

Number two is my favorite; but over time I've begun to see that it's true. Some of the greatest things came when I wasn't looking for them but I was in a place that they could find me. We put so much pressure on ourselves and lose faith in ourselves, we try to adapt and fit into boxes that worked for our friends, family, and neighbors. Well we aren't them we haven't done things like everyone else we are unique and things will come at the right time...we just need to put the effort in to be found just the way we are! I'm done with my soap box...you're allowed to take the stage now if you want.

I'm Lindsee, I don't understand dating! I am funny, smart, can't help but laugh at how funny life is and happen to cry when it seems unfair. And here's to another year.

Twice!!!!!

So I had one more date with the shy guy. We went to my work party... He was super shy and didn't talk to anyone ( I understand he didn't know anyone, but he didn't even speak to me). Afterwards we talked about Christmas and I shared some personal moments with him, I thought all was good. But then I didn't hear from him AT ALL! Almost a month went by when he called to ask about my recent test scores and made the statement "wow, who would have guessed My Girlfriend was so smart." --- I am still not sure why he was surprised but more importantly why he thought we were dating?! I shared my confusion with him and he seemed to be upset that I thought so little of our relationship. He asked me to list why I thought we shouldn't date. I quickly replied that it wasn't hat I didn't want to date I just didn't qualify talking to someone once every other week ( if I called), seeing them once a month, and never kissing or holding their hand as my boyfriend (if I did I would have been in a relationship with all my stories....wow he's got something there...maybe I should change my definition..humm). He came back with " wait we haven't kissed?"
Now I'm not an amazing kisser but I'm sure the kid would remember if we kissed, don't you? And no we never did. We got into a bit of a fight and said, " I guess we should breakup." to which I asked " how do you breakup when you're not dating?" needless to say we " broke up"

A week later he called and asked me out as if we had just met. " I don't know if you remember me but we went out back in October and I thought you were cute, I should have called sooner but I am a dork. Would you be willing to give me another shot on Friday night." I called him back and said " I happen to be working Friday" he replied with a Saturday request and I agreed.
He called Thursday and we talked for awhile before he said, " I think your great but I just don't know where this is going...I live up here and you live so far away. I want to get to know you but its too difficult to drive down to see you..." he went on to basically tell me if I lived closer we would date. Humm so in a nut shell the drive isn't worth it, and me. I quickly pick my jaw off the ground because here I was getting broken up with again, and said "okay but can this be the final time you call to breakup with me? "