I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe
But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in
And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you
I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm alone with me
But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in
And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Yes! He did say that...
So I figured that if I was going to include all of the dates I should add some of smooth on-liners I have experienced.
#1- “Hey, I have been calling everyone and there is no-one else. Are you busy?”
#2- “I’m bored and have nothing better to do; do you want to go on a date?”
#3- “What is the worst STD you can have?”
#4- “You have birthing hips.”
#5- “Wow, everything about you is small.”
#6- “I don’t remember you being pretty.”
#7- “Oh you’re a basketball fan, too. I think the 49ers are going all the way this year.”
#8- “March Madness? Is that the running of the bulls in Spain?”
#9- “Did you seriously eat all that?!”
#10- “If I didn’t know better, I’d ask you out!”
#1- “Hey, I have been calling everyone and there is no-one else. Are you busy?”
#2- “I’m bored and have nothing better to do; do you want to go on a date?”
#3- “What is the worst STD you can have?”
#4- “You have birthing hips.”
#5- “Wow, everything about you is small.”
#6- “I don’t remember you being pretty.”
#7- “Oh you’re a basketball fan, too. I think the 49ers are going all the way this year.”
#8- “March Madness? Is that the running of the bulls in Spain?”
#9- “Did you seriously eat all that?!”
#10- “If I didn’t know better, I’d ask you out!”
Don't mess with "the tank" .
Two facts everyone should know about me: first I am magnet for weird dates and second that I can eat a lot of food. All of my friends and family called me the tank; even some of my dates now that I think about it.
I was lined up with a great guy who was sure he could cure my bad luck. He was sent to me by way of my roommate, who told him that I was in desperate need of someone normal. He told me all this in the first few minutes of our date and kind of laughed at my crazy life. “Have you ever tried to get out of a date, once you were on it before?” he asked with a smile. “Sometimes I will look for exits and think of good reasons I would have to go home, but most of the time I just laugh to myself and have fun,” I replied.
“So is it true that if the date goes bad you’ll try to embarrass me?” He asked
“No, I won’t TRY, I WILL embarrass you.” I said with confidence
“Sorry to burst your bubble honey, but I don’t get embarrassed.”
“That’s because you’ve never met me.”
“Okay, hot shot, I’ll bet you dinner for a week that you can’t embarrass me by the end of our date.”
“What if I can embarrass you by the end of our dinner tonight?”
“I’ll be amazed!”
The restaurant was packed that night and after being seated I began to be as clingy and needy as possible. However, he wasn’t budging and if anything he was dishing it right back. I knew that I would have to pull out the big guns to really get this guy. I was racking my brain for something I could get him on, when the waitress came by to clear our plates. I had been so busy plotting that I hadn’t really eaten much of my dinner. She kindly asked if I would need a box, but my date answered for me by saying, “no, the tank can finish it, can’t you?!” I knew I had him…
I threw down my fork and said,
“I knew you thought I was fat! Do you know what I’ve been through for you…so that I could look good for you? I have been running for months so that I could fit into this dress, and be everything you want me to be. I was willing to run my body into the ground so that I could look good. I love you and I’m sorry if I just wanted our anniversary dinner to be perfect so that you wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen with me. But, I was wrong, you are embarrassed, and I’ll never been as good looking as your old girl friends that you’re always comparing me to, why do I even try…” I progressively got louder and louder (remember that it was packed that night).
His eyes got really big and he was begging for our check to come faster. In the mean time he desperately tried to calm me down and get us out of there. As he was pushing me out the door I kept saying, “Oh no I’ve embarrassed you! I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry.” Once we were out in the car I smiled and said, “I’ll have café Rio one of the days please!”
He was in shock for a good 30 minutes; and did know what else to do but take me home that night. He did tell me though, that if there was an Olympic event for embarrassing someone I would have the gold. He never asked me out again…I wonder why.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
But, the story is not done there. I was at work and one of the ladies told me she had finally heard a story that could top mine (like a said earlier it was pretty well know that I have ridiculous dates). She begins by saying how this guy went on a blind date and his date had a complete melt down in the restaurant, all to win lunch for a week. “Oh hey there he is now,” she said quietly. Right then he walked over and handed me my lunch; they all looked at me; what else could I say at that moment but, “he asked for it!”
Friday, April 16, 2010
Less is more?
I have always liked it when people felt comfortable enough to just tell me the truth, but it’s the out of the blue comments that always get me. I happened to take the guy I was dating with me to the mall to look at a skirt I was thinking about buying, figuring that he would give me an honest opinion, which he did, surprising I know.
We were just roaming around the store, and he was getting tired so he was a few feet behind me when I saw this dress that I would never wear. I was laughing to myself as I picked it up thinking who would ever wear this; it was strapless and looked like someone had thrown up on it. He came up behind me and said, “I don’t think you could fill that one out Linz.” I quickly said, “what?!”
“Well, Linz this dress requires that you have something to hold it up and you don’t really…you’re…” I couldn’t believe he had just said that, so I hit him and started walking to the car. He followed and kept saying, “Linz it doesn’t matter to me what your chest size is…oh man, I’m stopping now.” I had never been happier for him to stop talking. We had a few things to drop off and pick-up at his parents’ house, which we did on our way to my house. Once inside his mom could tell something was bothering me and asked what was wrong. I tried to brush it off, but she kept asking and finally I just said that her son had told me something very shocking and I didn’t know how to handle it yet. His dad came in at this point and was just as curious to find out what his son had said. I finally just said, “Well he told me that I couldn’t fill out a dress.” His mom hit him and his dad said, “That’s why I like you because I know he isn’t thinking about that.” I didn’t know how to take that.
We were just roaming around the store, and he was getting tired so he was a few feet behind me when I saw this dress that I would never wear. I was laughing to myself as I picked it up thinking who would ever wear this; it was strapless and looked like someone had thrown up on it. He came up behind me and said, “I don’t think you could fill that one out Linz.” I quickly said, “what?!”
“Well, Linz this dress requires that you have something to hold it up and you don’t really…you’re…” I couldn’t believe he had just said that, so I hit him and started walking to the car. He followed and kept saying, “Linz it doesn’t matter to me what your chest size is…oh man, I’m stopping now.” I had never been happier for him to stop talking. We had a few things to drop off and pick-up at his parents’ house, which we did on our way to my house. Once inside his mom could tell something was bothering me and asked what was wrong. I tried to brush it off, but she kept asking and finally I just said that her son had told me something very shocking and I didn’t know how to handle it yet. His dad came in at this point and was just as curious to find out what his son had said. I finally just said, “Well he told me that I couldn’t fill out a dress.” His mom hit him and his dad said, “That’s why I like you because I know he isn’t thinking about that.” I didn’t know how to take that.
Friday, April 2, 2010
The Rexburg Guide...
I had just gotten out of class and was planning to meet up with someone; I found a nice looking bench and sat down to begin my wait. After a few minutes my phone rang and the person I was waiting for couldn’t come, and we would have to do something later. Being slightly bummed I took a deep breath and went to leave. Right then, the gentleman sitting next to me, (whom I didn’t notice before) asked if I knew where someone could get a tour of the university. I pointed out the building that the admissions office was located. He told me he had already tried and they were all full for the day, but he only had today off to look at things. I got ready to say how sorry I was when he said, “I’m sorry but I happened to hear that your date was canceled and I was wondering if maybe you could just give me a quick tour?” I figured I wasn’t doing anything so I said I would. I walked him around and pointed out all of the buildings explaining each one. We arrived back at our beginning point and said, “Sorry this wasn’t very good, but I hope it helped.” He smiled and said “yes it did, thank you.” I got ready to walk away, when he said, “Hey, wait I never got your name.”
“Lindsee.”
“Okay, Ms. Lindsee, what would you think of a guy who thought you were cute and didn’t know how to ask you out so he convinced you to take him on a tour?”
“I would think that he was a chicken, but cute.”
“Lindsee.”
“Okay, Ms. Lindsee, what would you think of a guy who thought you were cute and didn’t know how to ask you out so he convinced you to take him on a tour?”
“I would think that he was a chicken, but cute.”
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Who looks good in hats?
This date was set up as though we were going to be hanging out in a big group, but ended up just being the two of us. He was cute and saw this as a wonderful opportunity. We went to the new James Bond movie at the time and later went to play pool. I was never good at playing pool and he wanted to play that the loser bought dessert. I didn’t have any money in my purse and so I knew that I needed to win. I got a few good shots and was doing better than expected; he was doing just as well though. He had gotten down to one ball and the eight ball left; I had a few more than that on the table. This was a time for desperate measures. I had heard once that the most tender spot on the body was right behind the ear; I figured I would test this out. As he was getting his shot all set up I slowly walked behind him and blew ever so gently on the back of his neck and up to his ear. I have never seen anyone drop to their knees that fast; I guess it really is the most tender spot on the body. I ended up winning because he knocked in the eight ball, and I cleaned up.
I must have left a lasting impression, because he invited me to come and play football with him and his friends (or it was pay back?). Now note that it was WINTER time and we were playing football; I showed up all buddle up, and he looked surprised. After playing for awhile, and no one could feel their fingers and toes, we finally called it a day. On the way out he walked me to my car and mentioned how I looked different then the night before. I asked “how so?”
“Well I remember you looking nicer.”
“Because I did, today I came prepared to get dirty.”
Touching my beanie on my head he looked at me and said, “In all honesty, you look like a hobo today.” I’m pretty sure one of my ‘are you kidding me glances’ came out at that point, because he continued,
“I just was telling all my buddies how pretty you were and I was excited to show you off and then you came like this.”
To which I just said, “I’m sorry that I embarrassed you, but what were you hoping I would come dressed like when we’re playing football in the snow?”
He tried really hard after that to get his foot out of his mouth and I wasn’t helping him at all. Finally he just ripped the hat off my head and said,
“I’m sorry Linz but you just do not look good in hats, they make you look like a homeless person.”
I must have left a lasting impression, because he invited me to come and play football with him and his friends (or it was pay back?). Now note that it was WINTER time and we were playing football; I showed up all buddle up, and he looked surprised. After playing for awhile, and no one could feel their fingers and toes, we finally called it a day. On the way out he walked me to my car and mentioned how I looked different then the night before. I asked “how so?”
“Well I remember you looking nicer.”
“Because I did, today I came prepared to get dirty.”
Touching my beanie on my head he looked at me and said, “In all honesty, you look like a hobo today.” I’m pretty sure one of my ‘are you kidding me glances’ came out at that point, because he continued,
“I just was telling all my buddies how pretty you were and I was excited to show you off and then you came like this.”
To which I just said, “I’m sorry that I embarrassed you, but what were you hoping I would come dressed like when we’re playing football in the snow?”
He tried really hard after that to get his foot out of his mouth and I wasn’t helping him at all. Finally he just ripped the hat off my head and said,
“I’m sorry Linz but you just do not look good in hats, they make you look like a homeless person.”
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Great Sniffer!
Over time going on unusual blind dates does wear on a person, and I found myself wanting to just have something “normal” for a change. Boy meets girl, boy thinks girl is cute and boy asks girl out. How difficult can that be? I’m sure I must have mentioned this a time or two to my friends, because they would all say the same thing when lining me up again, “I know you hate blind dates, but…” I soon learned that you can’t pick what life gives you; all you can do is enjoy the ride.
This date wasn’t really a date per say; more of a gathering were two people could meet. A friend of mine thought she had found a man that would be the perfect match for me: funny, smart and good-looking (as all of these men were). She planned a movie night at her apartment where I could come meet him and if this was a good match take it from there. What a genius idea; previewing your blind date. Little did I know that not only was he informed about this little set up too, but everyone invited to the party as well. It was a date. After getting introduced ten times and everyone moving so that we could sit by one another, we both got the hint. We began to talk and discovered that he sat right behind me in one of my classes (I transferred out of it week into the semester though) but he remembered me and said that I smelled good. He was actually pretty good-looking and my heart jumped a little bit to think that he thought I was worth remembering. However, this is my life and of course he continued that sentence,
“…but tonight you smell different.”
“Different, is that a good or a bad thing?”
“It’s not b..a..d.”
“But it’s not good.”
“I don’t know what it is but you smell like something I have smelt before. Give me a minute I’ll figure it out.”
Being slightly bothered at this point, I thought I should do my own assessment. I slowly began smelling different locations on my body; only to discover that maybe my deodorant was beginning to wear off from all this stress. He leaned over and said,
“I’ve got it you smell like cat food.”
“Cat food?”
“Yes”
“Why, I don’t have cats and am allergic to them.”
“Weird, I wonder why.”
The movie finished and nothing more was said about it. I made my way for the door looking for my friend to thank her but she was nowhere to be seen; I said my good-byes and headed for my car.
Once I was home I noticed that I had a text message on my phone; I had forgotten that my phone was still on silent from the movie. I opened the message to find that it was the Great Sniffer himself. He apologized for acting so weird and explained how he sometimes gets obsessed with figuring things out; then came the best part. “I think I know why you smelled like cat food…what time of the month is it for you?”
After picking my jaw off the ground I pushed reply and typed, I don’t know who you are but, I am Tiffany and my husband will be ticked if you text me again.
Can you believe that? Who says that? I really was questioning his intelligence at that point.
I ran into him a few weeks later and he was surprised that I would pretend that he had the wrong number. I reminded him how he told me I smelled like cat food, and asked about my period.
This date wasn’t really a date per say; more of a gathering were two people could meet. A friend of mine thought she had found a man that would be the perfect match for me: funny, smart and good-looking (as all of these men were). She planned a movie night at her apartment where I could come meet him and if this was a good match take it from there. What a genius idea; previewing your blind date. Little did I know that not only was he informed about this little set up too, but everyone invited to the party as well. It was a date. After getting introduced ten times and everyone moving so that we could sit by one another, we both got the hint. We began to talk and discovered that he sat right behind me in one of my classes (I transferred out of it week into the semester though) but he remembered me and said that I smelled good. He was actually pretty good-looking and my heart jumped a little bit to think that he thought I was worth remembering. However, this is my life and of course he continued that sentence,
“…but tonight you smell different.”
“Different, is that a good or a bad thing?”
“It’s not b..a..d.”
“But it’s not good.”
“I don’t know what it is but you smell like something I have smelt before. Give me a minute I’ll figure it out.”
Being slightly bothered at this point, I thought I should do my own assessment. I slowly began smelling different locations on my body; only to discover that maybe my deodorant was beginning to wear off from all this stress. He leaned over and said,
“I’ve got it you smell like cat food.”
“Cat food?”
“Yes”
“Why, I don’t have cats and am allergic to them.”
“Weird, I wonder why.”
The movie finished and nothing more was said about it. I made my way for the door looking for my friend to thank her but she was nowhere to be seen; I said my good-byes and headed for my car.
Once I was home I noticed that I had a text message on my phone; I had forgotten that my phone was still on silent from the movie. I opened the message to find that it was the Great Sniffer himself. He apologized for acting so weird and explained how he sometimes gets obsessed with figuring things out; then came the best part. “I think I know why you smelled like cat food…what time of the month is it for you?”
After picking my jaw off the ground I pushed reply and typed, I don’t know who you are but, I am Tiffany and my husband will be ticked if you text me again.
Can you believe that? Who says that? I really was questioning his intelligence at that point.
I ran into him a few weeks later and he was surprised that I would pretend that he had the wrong number. I reminded him how he told me I smelled like cat food, and asked about my period.
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